People with dementia may get suspicious easily due to memory loss and decline in judgement. In the following case, San Po (a person with dementia) is living with her son, her daughter-in-law, and a domestic helper called Melina. She suspects that the domestic helper has stolen her money. How would you handle this situation?
San Po suspects that the domestic helper has stolen her money.
San Po argues with the domestic helper.
The relationship between San Po and the domestic helper gets worse. She starts to judge her daughter-in-law as well.
San Po has been deceived by a friend in financial matters in the past. Since then, she has strongly believed that "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."
The physical condition of San Po has been very stable. It is not a major reason for her suspiciousness.
San Po's short-term memory has declined. She very often forgets where she put her things and money. A reasonable explanation she has come up with is that her things were stolen by the domestic helper.
The domestic helper cannot speak Cantonese fluently. This is a barrier for San Po to communicate with her effectively.
| San Po: |
Where is it? Where did Melina hide it?
|
| Daughter-in-law: |
Mum, what's wrong? You look angry. What happened?
|
| San Po: |
Of course I'm angry! Melina stole my money again. You should never trust her.
|
| Daughter-in-law: |
Melina stole your money again? No wonder you're so angry. Can you tell me what you saw?
|
| San Po: |
I saw her ... I saw her ... She hid my $100 note in her can.
|
| Daughter-in-law: |
I see. That makes you angry. I would be angry if I were you, too. It makes me feel sad that she made you so distressed.
|
| San Po: |
It's not your fault. I just wanted to let you know.
|
| Daughter-in-law: |
I'm glad that you told me. You should tell us about your feelings. Can I help you look for the $100 note? That would be more effective.
|
| San Po: |
Sure!
|
| Daughter-in-law: |
Mum, please help me look through these clothes. I'll look in the closet.
|
| San Po: |
Don't waste your time for me. She must have hidden it somewhere else.
|
| San Po: |
Oh, it's here! I found it! She must have put it back somehow.
|
| Daughter-in-law: |
I'm glad you found it.
|
| Daughter-in-law: |
Melina knows she must put the change into the can after she goes to the grocery store. I have been checking it carefully every day, so don't worry about it.
|
| San Po: |
You should really watch her.
|
| Daughter-in-law: |
I will. Please help me keep an eye on her. I'll pay more attention to her as well. How about this? I can put a lock on the bedside cupboard for you to lock your things up. It will be very safe.
|
| San Po: |
Good idea!
|
You can design preventive measures by combining your knowledge and skills in communication, behaviour management, environmental modification, and activity design to fulfil the needs of the person with dementia. For example:
Aim: To show respect to San Po and help her to build trust in Melina.
Aim: To let San Po feel relieved.
Aim: To monitor San Po's disease progress and take action to prevent her distrust of Melina from building up.
Aim: To help San Po find her personal belongs.
Aim: To facilitate relationship-building between San Po and Melina.
Aim: To distract San Po from watching Melina.
There are numerous ways to satisfy the needs of a family member with dementia. You may take into consideration his or her characteristics to reduce resistance and increase effectiveness.
